Negativity affects you negatively 100% of the time.
Think right now of the most negative person you know.
Now think of another one.
And another one.
Was that difficult? Did three different people come right to your mind?
Chances are, they did.
Most of us know people that we would consider to be negative people. Oh sure, they can sometimes say positive, funny, upbeat things, but for the most part, when we think of them, we think of them as being negative a majority of the time.
But here’s the deal – most of them don’t think of themselves that way.
Nobody thinks of themselves as negative.
They think they are practical, pragmatic, realistic, or any other adjective that makes their negativity not feel so negative.
However, they can dress it up any way they want and call it anything they want, but it doesn’t matter. When it comes right down to it, they are just negative people.
Nobody wants to be around these people! They suck the positive energy out of rooms, conversations, and relationships.
Unless, of course, the people around them are also negative people. Then, those people just eat it up.
When you come upon these people, run away as fast as you can. Don’t let them infect you and your attitude with their negativity. You won’t change them from who they are, but you can keep yourself from joining them.
I think we manifest the very thing we put out. If you’re putting out negativity, then you’re going to retrieve that same sentiment. If you emanate joy, it comes back to you.
Here’s the deal. If you are a teacher or coach, heck, if you’re a parent or a leader of any other type, this can’t be you. Don’t succumb to the negative feelings that will invade your mind at times.
Of course, we will all have our moments, hours, and days where it seems nothing is going right, and we will start to have a negative outlook on things. But we can’t let those moments overtake us and become who we are.
We must persevere, get through the difficulties, and get back to being positive forces for good in our lives and the lives of those we lead.
Kids see too many adults who don’t exude a positivity about life. These are people who make their way through their days with nothing but whining, complaining, and finding fault with things.
Kids don’t need more of that from you. They need you to be the one who encourages them, supports them, and helps them see the good in their lives and in what they are doing.
As a teacher and/or coach, you owe it to your kids to be a beacon of light, someone who finds the good, accentuates the positive, and helps others do the same.
Bombard them with positivity and surround them with more positive people. They deserve to have the opportunity for positive in their lives.
Join the Club
There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away; the battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.
One of the biggest problems I find with negative people is they attract one another. The place I have seen this most often is on teaching staffs.
At every school I have ever taught/coached in, there have been negative people. But the amazing thing is how they have gravitated towards one another and become “pity party buddies.” (Are you seeing a group of teachers or coaches in your mind right now who are the same way at your school or your league?)
I used to walk into the teachers’ lounge at lunchtime, and when I would see that group of negative teachers sitting together (which was ALL the time), I would do one of two things: walk right out of the room or sit as far away as possible from them.
I did not want to listen to their constant complaining about whatever was the focus of complaining for that day. I did not want to let them, as Gandhi said, “walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”
It is natural to join in with a conversation with others in a group. That is a good thing. However, when the group of people talking are negative people, and they are focused on complaining about something, we tend to join in on the complaining. We become negative ourselves.
I get it. There will be times that we are not happy with something, and we will have a complaint about it. When we do, we look for justification and verification from others that our complaint is valid and that we are not alone in how we feel and think about it.
However, what often happens is that these negative people have a tendency to complain together ALL THE TIME, and we get sucked right into it with them.
Here’s the other thing about that: more often than not, you will not hear a viable solution to the complaint. These people will be merely complaining about a situation that they believe needs to be different. They rarely have a positive resolution to it, though.
People will try to pull you down, but you need to fight the negativity in your life. It’s always good to stay positive and think positive.
So it is a critical component of becoming the best that you are capable of becoming that you don’t fall into the trap of negativity.
Yes, there will be times when you will have a negative outlook on things in life. That is a natural part of our lives.
But don’t allow the negative thoughts and feelings you have to become your main way of thinking. Don’t allow the negative to become who you are.
Recognize the negative when it comes to you, explore why you feel that way and what you can do to change the feeling, and then work to change it.
And most importantly, don’t infect others with your negativity, especially your kids. Kids are very impressionable, and they often take on the personalities or attitudes of the adults in their lives.
Focus on the positive, so that they, too, will focus on the positive.
Help them see the good in others and in the situations around them. Help them see a positive way to deal with whatever is thrown at them.
Help them see that when we attack problems from a baseline of positivity, we have a much better chance of it turning out the way we want it to turn out. And even if it doesn’t turn out that way, we at least see that it is not nearly as bad as we would have seen it had we approached it from a baseline of negativity.
Kids are sponges. Help them soak up a lot more good and positive from our world than the bad and negative that they are bombarded with elsewhere in their lives.
Help them grow and develop to become their best in the most positive way possible.
If we give something positive to others, it will return to us. If we give negative, that negativity will be returned.